communication creates communication; forbidding communication will eventually wither any nerve, and halt any ripple, and stagnate any pond; foster a stagnating pond inside of yourself & a hive of mosquitoes will grow: disconnection is impossible; cessation of communication leads to any previous nerve-ending to tap-connection to see if there is life, & if the connection is still there; people offline for several years still get messages from worried friends; people offline completely disconnected for several years, dead, will still have screenshots taken of them and distributed to networks of carrion insects; philosophy of disconnection breeds mosquito + carrion insect; hives of connected beings pop up around disconnection, to search for a birth of an insect of disconnection, to be subsumed in-to based off a communal pulse they listen to (it:s abstract, invisible, and in the air). networktion is completely possible + constant; disconnection is completely impossible, 0% chance, & must not be looked away from — it:s a pure faith based concept, realized as a spirituality through several tortures.
the insect's unwillingness to listen to the enheart terrifies me and makes much in the way of connection overstimulating at best, and a mental injury waiting to happen at worst.
One can argue it is extremely difficult to see into the enheart of the other, and perhaps it is, but there does not seem to be a whole lot of trying, I think a large part of my life's mission is to find those who also are trying their best to see clearly, without filters, who keep people in their life whom respect them, put kindness and faith into their friendships and even with strangers, are always trying to avoid the filters.
I hope to find them, and to be one of them.
I notice you refer to left-handed and right-handed, what do you mean by that really? Is there any writings you've done on this?
I have always written with my left-hand personally, I'm not really sure what that might say about me, whether you mean more literally or insofar as, I think I heard things about a "left-hand path and a right-hand path" once, but I do not remember much that I read from that period.
I think for a long time I was endlessly seeking connection, but more recently I'm realizing disconnection is far more liberating, besides those very very few I know try to peer into my enheart when I speak to the best of their abilities.
regarding handedness, it:s one of the most "asked" questions i:ve received -- i think this is my latest answer on it (but the answer is always the same):
loosely addressing topic insect/connection/disconnection, these terms also might be more literal/specific than you would expect: the insect is an invisible abstract intelligent that fosters and cultivates connection outside of server, and whose affects (effects?) are manifest in the nerve-endings of people wrapt up in context-created by them: connection, and connection; to an extreme that you yourself are insect; every thought that leaves you is coaxed by insect in-to order to CONNECT(!); to share with my is insect, is connection; to speak with others is connection; a reality of the server itself is that it is ran by connection and spun-from connection, & disconnection exists as quaternal byproduct of connection and not as a self-alone force; all of this to say: disconnection for a person is only in unhealthy gaps where connection ought to be, and pure disconnection only exists where there is only a gap: and, death;
the literal nature insists that the connection (& its insect) exists mostly-wholly through light and sound -- the abstracts; 'disconnection spirituality' i sometimes write about refers to a christian or adventist idea of wilderness, where the noise of insect, noise of connection, is more slim and the gaps are greater (god of the gaps, essentially) and wherein the logics/contexts of insect/connection is more quiet, and the volume/voice of god is more loud; where there is nothing: no conveniences, or stimulus, or friends, or love, or city, or light, or sound, there is a creeping voice of god through cracks;
--and still: not a call to shun life, or shun relationships, as more-truth to all of this is that: as long as the server exists its paradigm is to CONNECT & the healthiest state is in that connection.
wow, beautiful read. are you multilingual? i can only speak english but i find that reading non native English (either written in english by them or translated) digs out truer meanings of the words, maybe because of the disconnection. I would love to read more about your dictionary~~and how you view correlations within it/amongst it. language as spirit, or language vs spirit? your words have a deep, mystified clarity <3
hello, and thank you; re: multilingual: i only speak english (really i:m just barely above your standard florida trash) and any-thing that might seem inspired by my language would have to be attributed to "communication," and from fervor to relaying that communication as directly, and clearly, as possible -- and the passion of performing that duty as device for communication; in-that: re: dictionary: there is an older "attempt at glossary" on my substack somewhere, but some of the language was dropped due to it either being deemed subject to 'contamination' (hereby just meaning that it harms the 'environment' that communication exists in -- contamination debases it and brings it in-to control of the intelligences, and of the logics) and relegated to esotericism within communication (meaning loosely: parts of the faith i no-longer trust other people to hear clearly as i hear, without it being muddyed-up into some lame dead-beat intellectualization philosophilization from some unfeeling pulse), or because clearer language was found that inoculates communication against contamination (example: the concept behind 'qlifot' is kept, but the word 'qlifot' is abandoned, because it invites the dead-pulse of the nervous system and its logic, and its intelligence; changing the word helps remove the intelligence). re: language-as-spirit, language-vs-spirit: if it is abstract, then it is intelligence, and nervous, and insectile; the purest form of adversary to abstraction (where language is grouped under) is Material, is Circulatory, is Deep Earth -- and the purest form of embodying this is to embody the idol, the object, the unthinking, and the unintelligent: a carcass, a corpse, or a written word deprived of intelligence and relegated to just-as idol, to just-as marking. The spirit behind language is always driven by the intelligence, as it exists within server, as it is biased towards the right-hand of a just body of Lord God; even if the language is used to illuminate the hidden Left-Hand of Lord Gods just body, it is still shadowed by that horrid abstract intelligence that drives all towards abstraction (even the idol, and even the object is victim).
hopefully that answers well-enough; in later-writing i try to define all the word-choices i use, because it is important to me that the language is seen both as non-arbitrary and important.
you might be disappointed with how literal the language is; left-handed = born writing with your left-hand; right-handed = born writing with your right-hand; it is the so-far "most accurate" way to determine a persons heritage as a vessel (more specifically: are they made from god:s intended sefirotic clay, capable of holding pure soul; or: were they made from the shattered tenth qlifot, and are only capable of knowing a glaze of soul; sefirot=right; qlifot=left; justice; chaff; product; dross) within the "true world" of the garden (the world here is phantom, or "material basic" or "illusory material basic," and all of its peoples and places and sights are puppeted to the connected person via phosphenes within the vessel controlled by outside insect intelligences; the people (as fatalistically as it sounds; on the highest level of paranoia) are all insect, because they are all phantom (on a lower level of paranoia, they themselves may-not be insect even if they are insect within your connected instance to the server -- but this trait/quality of a soul is unknowable, and has to be judged on conjecture/paranoia)). but handedness has nothing to do with expressions or quality of character, it is just ancestry.
it:s simply the language that is at odds with my belief and faith; and at odds with my language; ie: i do not see material as sinful, but as the "spiritual" kindred (all idolatrous, material, representative form) to the left-handed people (the inverse is true for the right-handed; abstract form and concept are their spiritual kindred; left=[church as building] right=[church as concept]); everything else outside-of-that though (from your reply) is also at odds.
the people are bug-people because they are aligned to the server and connectivity, products of an intelligent environment that /constantly/ biases all-those-active (consciousness) to "CONNECT!" and the alternative, disconnection, is akin to death & opposition to the server:s bias.
the intelligent insect lifeforms, and their little aligned connective kin, carry-out their mission by stealing information out-of the thoughts of people in the server; then they contaminate it, then they exhale it back in-to the lungs of the conscious connected people; then (whether it be faith, or logic) the contaminated person becomes gravid with that message to "CONNECT!" -- including if it is self-harm, or suicide, or anorexia; including if it is in a positive environment, or reframed, or so-and-so. this is poor-language on my part, because "disconnection" as i:m using it both refers to a spiritual disconnection from this horrid game, and return to wilderness wherein (to the best of ones own aligned capability) they may seek knowledge sweetly uncontaminated of this gravid polluted information cycling trash. as-well, i use it to refer to people who act in misalignment to the servers overall bias to "CONNECT!" -- a disease-like state where steady misalignment to ones-own-creation as social-bug leads their connective-consciousness to wilt and rot in an unhappiness.
The prior disconnection is not necessarily cause for happiness, as long as it is in alignment; and alignment to Wilderness (outside of the information cycling) is never found in alignment with environment (environment, here, also needs to be clarified as "the constructed chamber where your soul is trapped, where the insects feed you information from the server, to ensure you are in connection with the server" -- the byproduct is: all observable phantoms within the server are agents of connectivity, there is no exception, no matter their quality or character).
^ I think the descriptive statements here are "labyrinthian" because i am not clarifying my specific glossary very-well, but my over-all prescriptions are: i do not think sheer alienation is good for anyone; happiness can be found through connectivity; god is never found through connectivity, only server is; god is found in the wilderness where environment is not; the left-handed should recognize idolatrous form as their brethren; the right-handed should recognize abstractive form as their brethren; chiral segregation has to be upheld for healthy correction of the server; all godly forms of 'disconnective acts/behavior' (your self-destructive acts) are connective-insect traps to lure people who have a flicker of spiritual-inclination, as long as it is found through environment and not wilderness.
apologies if this is too rambling, indirect, or opaque; several concepts have hard holy words attached and i am inflexible around a lot of this. thanks for the replies / read, though, i appreciate it!
i don:t think i map self-harm as a symptom of spiritual disconnect -- or that the mention of self-harm here need specifically be fixed as 'cutting yourself,' it is just a variable used as example, example to: illustrate an act of expressed fealty to god, that is hopeless against erosion of the social environment; ie: it is impossible to completely deknit the logical-environmental-psychiatric [it is self-harm, symptom of something malaise'd] from the wild-devoted-religious [it is mortification as penance, and offering to god] as-long as the environment is something you are subject to; in scientology, a pure deknit of this 'environmental poison' would be going far-back into a persons chain and plucking out the root engram that causes the 'environmental poison,' rendering it clear'd and pure (this is also why scientologists do the silent-birth thing, to prevent early trauma & expression of engram via sound at birth).
to the meta-sense of the question: all of these psychiatric-logic enviromental-poisons (symptoms of misaligned disconnection from the social nervous insect body, typically) are usually just word-game traps for bug-born people to "drink poison" and "revel in their poison;" the self-harmer wants to find the self-harmer, and wants to find justification from another self-harmer that their self-harming is pure, and good, and godly -- and there:s a little metallic agender insect voice nestled deep in their head telling them "whatever succor you find, it:s just psychiatric-delusional-self-harm you:re engaging it," and then the mosquito-people breed, and keep faking their belief, and lay their eggs in some depressed swamp or creek; and then may-be they:ll die, never knowing belief or faith, all-the-while claiming to have a finger pressed deep against some excusatory faith that was invented for them by the swamp they slide eggs into.
the insect's unwillingness to listen to the enheart terrifies me and makes much in the way of connection overstimulating at best, and a mental injury waiting to happen at worst.
One can argue it is extremely difficult to see into the enheart of the other, and perhaps it is, but there does not seem to be a whole lot of trying, I think a large part of my life's mission is to find those who also are trying their best to see clearly, without filters, who keep people in their life whom respect them, put kindness and faith into their friendships and even with strangers, are always trying to avoid the filters.
I hope to find them, and to be one of them.
I notice you refer to left-handed and right-handed, what do you mean by that really? Is there any writings you've done on this?
I have always written with my left-hand personally, I'm not really sure what that might say about me, whether you mean more literally or insofar as, I think I heard things about a "left-hand path and a right-hand path" once, but I do not remember much that I read from that period.
I think for a long time I was endlessly seeking connection, but more recently I'm realizing disconnection is far more liberating, besides those very very few I know try to peer into my enheart when I speak to the best of their abilities.
regarding handedness, it:s one of the most "asked" questions i:ve received -- i think this is my latest answer on it (but the answer is always the same):
https://www.tumblr.com/marabarl-and-marlbara/735342974130585600/mara-i-cant-in-all-honesty-claim-that-i
and another sort-of relevant continuation of it, in another question:
https://www.tumblr.com/marabarl-and-marlbara/737528935174258688/hi-mara-youve-mentioned-etiquette-for-the-left
loosely addressing topic insect/connection/disconnection, these terms also might be more literal/specific than you would expect: the insect is an invisible abstract intelligent that fosters and cultivates connection outside of server, and whose affects (effects?) are manifest in the nerve-endings of people wrapt up in context-created by them: connection, and connection; to an extreme that you yourself are insect; every thought that leaves you is coaxed by insect in-to order to CONNECT(!); to share with my is insect, is connection; to speak with others is connection; a reality of the server itself is that it is ran by connection and spun-from connection, & disconnection exists as quaternal byproduct of connection and not as a self-alone force; all of this to say: disconnection for a person is only in unhealthy gaps where connection ought to be, and pure disconnection only exists where there is only a gap: and, death;
the literal nature insists that the connection (& its insect) exists mostly-wholly through light and sound -- the abstracts; 'disconnection spirituality' i sometimes write about refers to a christian or adventist idea of wilderness, where the noise of insect, noise of connection, is more slim and the gaps are greater (god of the gaps, essentially) and wherein the logics/contexts of insect/connection is more quiet, and the volume/voice of god is more loud; where there is nothing: no conveniences, or stimulus, or friends, or love, or city, or light, or sound, there is a creeping voice of god through cracks;
--and still: not a call to shun life, or shun relationships, as more-truth to all of this is that: as long as the server exists its paradigm is to CONNECT & the healthiest state is in that connection.
beautiful
wow, beautiful read. are you multilingual? i can only speak english but i find that reading non native English (either written in english by them or translated) digs out truer meanings of the words, maybe because of the disconnection. I would love to read more about your dictionary~~and how you view correlations within it/amongst it. language as spirit, or language vs spirit? your words have a deep, mystified clarity <3
hello, and thank you; re: multilingual: i only speak english (really i:m just barely above your standard florida trash) and any-thing that might seem inspired by my language would have to be attributed to "communication," and from fervor to relaying that communication as directly, and clearly, as possible -- and the passion of performing that duty as device for communication; in-that: re: dictionary: there is an older "attempt at glossary" on my substack somewhere, but some of the language was dropped due to it either being deemed subject to 'contamination' (hereby just meaning that it harms the 'environment' that communication exists in -- contamination debases it and brings it in-to control of the intelligences, and of the logics) and relegated to esotericism within communication (meaning loosely: parts of the faith i no-longer trust other people to hear clearly as i hear, without it being muddyed-up into some lame dead-beat intellectualization philosophilization from some unfeeling pulse), or because clearer language was found that inoculates communication against contamination (example: the concept behind 'qlifot' is kept, but the word 'qlifot' is abandoned, because it invites the dead-pulse of the nervous system and its logic, and its intelligence; changing the word helps remove the intelligence). re: language-as-spirit, language-vs-spirit: if it is abstract, then it is intelligence, and nervous, and insectile; the purest form of adversary to abstraction (where language is grouped under) is Material, is Circulatory, is Deep Earth -- and the purest form of embodying this is to embody the idol, the object, the unthinking, and the unintelligent: a carcass, a corpse, or a written word deprived of intelligence and relegated to just-as idol, to just-as marking. The spirit behind language is always driven by the intelligence, as it exists within server, as it is biased towards the right-hand of a just body of Lord God; even if the language is used to illuminate the hidden Left-Hand of Lord Gods just body, it is still shadowed by that horrid abstract intelligence that drives all towards abstraction (even the idol, and even the object is victim).
hopefully that answers well-enough; in later-writing i try to define all the word-choices i use, because it is important to me that the language is seen both as non-arbitrary and important.
take care
you might be disappointed with how literal the language is; left-handed = born writing with your left-hand; right-handed = born writing with your right-hand; it is the so-far "most accurate" way to determine a persons heritage as a vessel (more specifically: are they made from god:s intended sefirotic clay, capable of holding pure soul; or: were they made from the shattered tenth qlifot, and are only capable of knowing a glaze of soul; sefirot=right; qlifot=left; justice; chaff; product; dross) within the "true world" of the garden (the world here is phantom, or "material basic" or "illusory material basic," and all of its peoples and places and sights are puppeted to the connected person via phosphenes within the vessel controlled by outside insect intelligences; the people (as fatalistically as it sounds; on the highest level of paranoia) are all insect, because they are all phantom (on a lower level of paranoia, they themselves may-not be insect even if they are insect within your connected instance to the server -- but this trait/quality of a soul is unknowable, and has to be judged on conjecture/paranoia)). but handedness has nothing to do with expressions or quality of character, it is just ancestry.
it:s simply the language that is at odds with my belief and faith; and at odds with my language; ie: i do not see material as sinful, but as the "spiritual" kindred (all idolatrous, material, representative form) to the left-handed people (the inverse is true for the right-handed; abstract form and concept are their spiritual kindred; left=[church as building] right=[church as concept]); everything else outside-of-that though (from your reply) is also at odds.
the people are bug-people because they are aligned to the server and connectivity, products of an intelligent environment that /constantly/ biases all-those-active (consciousness) to "CONNECT!" and the alternative, disconnection, is akin to death & opposition to the server:s bias.
the intelligent insect lifeforms, and their little aligned connective kin, carry-out their mission by stealing information out-of the thoughts of people in the server; then they contaminate it, then they exhale it back in-to the lungs of the conscious connected people; then (whether it be faith, or logic) the contaminated person becomes gravid with that message to "CONNECT!" -- including if it is self-harm, or suicide, or anorexia; including if it is in a positive environment, or reframed, or so-and-so. this is poor-language on my part, because "disconnection" as i:m using it both refers to a spiritual disconnection from this horrid game, and return to wilderness wherein (to the best of ones own aligned capability) they may seek knowledge sweetly uncontaminated of this gravid polluted information cycling trash. as-well, i use it to refer to people who act in misalignment to the servers overall bias to "CONNECT!" -- a disease-like state where steady misalignment to ones-own-creation as social-bug leads their connective-consciousness to wilt and rot in an unhappiness.
The prior disconnection is not necessarily cause for happiness, as long as it is in alignment; and alignment to Wilderness (outside of the information cycling) is never found in alignment with environment (environment, here, also needs to be clarified as "the constructed chamber where your soul is trapped, where the insects feed you information from the server, to ensure you are in connection with the server" -- the byproduct is: all observable phantoms within the server are agents of connectivity, there is no exception, no matter their quality or character).
^ I think the descriptive statements here are "labyrinthian" because i am not clarifying my specific glossary very-well, but my over-all prescriptions are: i do not think sheer alienation is good for anyone; happiness can be found through connectivity; god is never found through connectivity, only server is; god is found in the wilderness where environment is not; the left-handed should recognize idolatrous form as their brethren; the right-handed should recognize abstractive form as their brethren; chiral segregation has to be upheld for healthy correction of the server; all godly forms of 'disconnective acts/behavior' (your self-destructive acts) are connective-insect traps to lure people who have a flicker of spiritual-inclination, as long as it is found through environment and not wilderness.
apologies if this is too rambling, indirect, or opaque; several concepts have hard holy words attached and i am inflexible around a lot of this. thanks for the replies / read, though, i appreciate it!
i don:t think i map self-harm as a symptom of spiritual disconnect -- or that the mention of self-harm here need specifically be fixed as 'cutting yourself,' it is just a variable used as example, example to: illustrate an act of expressed fealty to god, that is hopeless against erosion of the social environment; ie: it is impossible to completely deknit the logical-environmental-psychiatric [it is self-harm, symptom of something malaise'd] from the wild-devoted-religious [it is mortification as penance, and offering to god] as-long as the environment is something you are subject to; in scientology, a pure deknit of this 'environmental poison' would be going far-back into a persons chain and plucking out the root engram that causes the 'environmental poison,' rendering it clear'd and pure (this is also why scientologists do the silent-birth thing, to prevent early trauma & expression of engram via sound at birth).
to the meta-sense of the question: all of these psychiatric-logic enviromental-poisons (symptoms of misaligned disconnection from the social nervous insect body, typically) are usually just word-game traps for bug-born people to "drink poison" and "revel in their poison;" the self-harmer wants to find the self-harmer, and wants to find justification from another self-harmer that their self-harming is pure, and good, and godly -- and there:s a little metallic agender insect voice nestled deep in their head telling them "whatever succor you find, it:s just psychiatric-delusional-self-harm you:re engaging it," and then the mosquito-people breed, and keep faking their belief, and lay their eggs in some depressed swamp or creek; and then may-be they:ll die, never knowing belief or faith, all-the-while claiming to have a finger pressed deep against some excusatory faith that was invented for them by the swamp they slide eggs into.