i long for disconnection spirituality

communication creates communication; forbidding communication will eventually wither any nerve, and halt any ripple, and stagnate any pond; foster a stagnating pond inside of yourself & a hive of mosquitoes will grow: disconnection is impossible; cessation of communication leads to any previous nerve-ending to tap-connection to see if there is life, & if the connection is still there; people offline for several years still get messages from worried friends; people offline completely disconnected for several years, dead, will still have screenshots taken of them and distributed to networks of carrion insects; philosophy of disconnection breeds mosquito + carrion insect; hives of connected beings pop up around disconnection, to search for a birth of an insect of disconnection, to be subsumed in-to based off a communal pulse they listen to (it:s abstract, invisible, and in the air). networktion is completely possible + constant; disconnection is completely impossible, 0% chance, & must not be looked away from — it:s a pure faith based concept, realized as a spirituality through several tortures.

first torture: miscommunication; forced to communicate but constantly be misunderstood; a person can speak with a clear enheart¹ but be misunderstood by the sheer saturation of lucifer² and only be understood through this way. a completely clear enheart can speak, and only ever be further misunderstood by defending its sincerity versus the saturation of lucifer — specifically: this misunderstanding comes from subtle social hypnosis and creates a sparkling abyssal loneliness for engrammatic life. communication becomes painful, because even if the mind understands that language-is-being-understood, the heart (& enheart) knows that its expressions are being misunderstood. the mind warps the language of the heart into a miscommunication, and the person becomes a further oppressor against their own heart (& enheart).

second torture: subtle social hypnosis; miscommunication is reinforced through mass filtration established around the hearts of any who have allowed themselves to be subsumed; language is a broad filter against the heart; friend groups are another against the heart; subtle social hypnosis spreads the filter to adjacents via input/outputs; the filter that subsumed hearts are constrained by is outputted whenever they convey their feelings, and is inputted into any person who would listen; inputs impregnate the person with a larvae that forms the basis for simple thought control; example:

1. i communicate that god has instructed me to impress my vows of worship into my own flesh as an act of mortification

2. the insect inside the heart of the listener filters language, and my communication becomes understood as an act of self-harm and delusion

3. the listener conveys responsible understanding of the situation, asserting the severity of the situation

4. i understand that i sound insane, and the understanding of self-harm and delusion is in-turn established around my heart

5. in my own thoughts: i realize that i am harming those around myself, and become neurotic over the disagreement between my mystic understanding versus the lucifer understanding of my new filter

6. the filter stays forever, and has to now be manually deknitted³ from active thought processes to maintain clear communication of the enheart — but the fragment of filter stays stuck to the heart; even in writing this, i can think nothing but: “a reader will only see this as affirmation of self-harm, and enabling of their delusion” — i am impure, and this impurity demands i hate my reader: and i do, if my heart is misunderstood as wanting to encourage someones self-destruction, then i hate the reader that misunderstands that.

third torture: shame. i hate myself for being misunderstood.

against the network: a person subscribing to a network spirituality is believing in a possible spiritual ecstasy coming from the inherent connection they feel with every-other in the network; the milady-believers cling to a filter/language of “network spirituality” with a (enheart) pure-feeling that they are involved in a bleeding-edge internet art movement: it:s just like lain — but the spirituality part is insincere. to the bulk believers of milady, networking spirituality is another dishonest filter they miscommunicate their feelings through: they:re default server-bugs chirping out “community” through a thousand different bleeding-edge filters placed around their heart. it:s the same for wired-believers. it:s the same for christians. show up to church, learn the language, the rules, the lucifer of bible, and never feel anything. never feel connected to your belief, and never feel disconnected, either, because the constant nerve-tapping won:t let you feel nothing.

the sincerity of a proclaimed network spirituality is unimportant, though: because the server is already connected, disconnection is impossible, there:s still a faint electric hum when the computer is unplugged, the server will not let you delete your account, prayers are heard even if god is rejected; & somehow: it still feels that no matter where i go, no body is connected.

1. enheart = refers to the enturbulated heart, or the heart that communicates trauma-based and negative/reactionary feelings.

2. lucifer = refers to logical-group-based understandings that have overridden a mystical/mysterious understanding; ie: identifying the science behind combustion vs believing combustion is a divine miracle.

3. deknitting = refers to manually curating thoughts to identify corresponding environmental (insect-based) sources, and untangling the source from your most raw feelings; “is this me who is mad, or am i being mad because everyone i know would be mad if i wasn:t? am i mad at this because i constantly listen to people who are mad at this thing?”