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evah's avatar

I could be that person. I have been in love with your work for a very long time and ‘intuitively’ understand what you mean. I would like to know what ‘confusion’ in the church is, i am a little unfamiliar with churches.

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birthday's avatar

hi evah, i appreciate hearing that; to your claim about being that person: then it is up to you to continue the work and be pressed by its awful burden--i:ll tell you two things, though: generally i don:t discuss religious topics with people directly as a rule kept to myself (outside of q&a and clarification; i have a fear of being a "guru" and becoming tool to anything other service of the faith), and that i am extremely literal about the handedness of the faith: there is nothing to it beyond the absurdity of those born left-handed and those born right-handed;

to confusions: confusions are broadly defined by right-handed values being transposed over left-handed persons--as with actual hands: the right-hand can never properly overlay the left-hand due to chirality, they don:t match despite looking similar; in the world: it could be something as intuitive as scissors working wonky in the hand of a left-handed person, it could be something less intuitive as the left->right handwriting direction being unnatural to a left-handed child, it could be something opaque as the noises and lights heard at birth as being caustic to the left-handed child; ultimately: the world is defined by rules and contices (context, plural, idiosyncratic spelling) that bias towards the righteous (the right-handed) due to the disparity between the vessels: the right-handed vessels are the whole nine~ten sefira, and the left-handed are all born from a sole broken sefira (the qlifot); this disparity is reflected here 'in-world' as a disparity of roughly 9:1 between the two peoples, and the world itself adheres to this bias; though not a Christian, it helps me to illustrate using the Christian lens: the Bible is written to the righteous bias and its promises are the 'truth' of the righteous: heaven, subsumation, choirs, connectivity; adhering to Biblical truth/law as a left-handed person leads to confusion against 'our' bestial grace: we are only misled by heaven, subsumation, choir, connectivity--we are muds of earth confused, in our way, by the spirit that clings to us; the Righteous have their own confusions, too: they are spirits clung to by mud; the Righteous peoples with languages that natively write in the right->left direction are afflicted by sinistral confusion; annihilative thoughts are confusions to the righteous; our grand silence which becomes the focus of worship is too a confusion to the righteous;

all that is visible is confusion to the righteous, and all that is invisible is confusion to the sinister--as broad as that is, and as inescapable as that is for either beyond a final occulting step for either past a mysterious threshold neither can return from.

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evah's avatar

Thank you so much for taking the time to clarify this for me:) this truly is a dream come true and I’ll do everything I can to translate and document, of course in tandem with you

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mikey's avatar

wonderful orsday post, reading on my break at work. the way you write is so clear & bittersweet to read, curious about your boogiepop fanfiction

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