charlotte fang has been killed and i have been radicalized
a love letter about charlotte fang being cancelled
charlotte fang has been killed and i have been radicalized
i don:t care if charlotte is responsible for victims
i don:t care if the victims are real or fabricated by the antagonists
i don:t care if the victims defend charlotte; i don:t care if the victims were brainwashed.
i don:t care about the official statements from the remco officials; i don:t care about the anecdotal statements from those supposedly in the thick of kaliacc; i don:t care about the several hours of an on-the-grounds journalist and their expertise or knowledge in the history of miya.
charlotte fang had been killed, and it has made me radicalized; it:s moved my heart.
doki doki — you hear that? i:m sad over charlotte fang being killed.
i:m sad because charlotte helped me out. pure and simple: i:ve been bought.
my morals disintegrated deep down into my tummy, because definitely some of the weird accusations give me a gut discomfort; some of the defense makes me uncomfortable, too.
i saw this one milady post about the “black lodge” & the “white lodge” & unbeknownst to us (me, especially, although i think i:m absolutely complicit in my choice — i:ve been bought) we:ve been sorted into these dumb lodges.
@ some point i had been sorted into the black lodge, & people from my past reached out to inform me:
i reached out to talk w/ someone, who was probably just-about the closest person in my life, about the controversy because i was freaked out about being officially complicit in evil. my friend said something to the extent of (in the following order):
i told you about associating with those people ^^
the first time i saw miladys it was like looking into something actually demonic and i knew i could never associate with anything like that
i:ve been a true friend to you, i don:t think charlotte fang could ever be one to you
i told them “lets not talk about this,” and then i got blocked from every single platform i could access them from. i:m actually pretty heartbroken over that. i feel like i:ve done something wrong, and i have this mantra in-thought that goes: i:m definitely evil, & i:m definitely some amoral whore.
^ i definitely feel that way, but i definitely also do not begrudge or fault myself for having strong feelings for charlotte. why? a few reasons:
(as mentioned pure & simple) charlotte helped me out.
charlotte was one of two people to reach out to me when i went missing.
charlotte has sort of grabbed my arm and essentially went “hey you hiki retard, i like your art, i want you to make some money off it so your life can be better” & delivered (this is my delusional interpretation of my groomer (charlotte, my groomer; it:s the only way i could be complicit in evil (is if i was groomed))).
supported + encouraged my dumb oil painting hobby.
offered any assistance i would need to stop pursuing my suicide pact. not even the meme “i can save you” assistance, but the: “hey i don:t want you to die and if you need support with deciding to live, please let me know” assistance.
charlotte has never belittled me. i:ve sent charlotte handfuls of insane long DMs about weird religious concepts and about how god is speaking to me. charlotte has never entertained it, and has never made fun of me for it.
this one sounds like a small detail, but it:s huge to me. this has ruined relationships and made me feel like less-than-a-person.
i am gracious for charlotte.
truthfully: i don:t really care for remco @ all (the insect remco), & charlotte scares me in a really specific way (detailed later), but charlotte is super-duper good to me.
i:m gracious. i:m so gracious that: when a bunch of confusing allegations come out, i don:t really understand how i:m supposed to ignore all of this & make some declaration that i HATE charlotte, or slink away and pretend like i:ve never had these strong feelings for charlotte to save my reputation.
i love charlotte.
asking me to ignore my history with charlotte and go with the moral-choice is an inhuman ask — i think mostly anyone in my position would do the same, & i have zero shame over continuing to be grateful despite any allegation.
charlotte has always been pretty & scary to me.
why is charlotte so pretty? charlotte is elemental — this is also why “super scary.” charlotte is deeply intermixed with insect, while remaining so detached from the workings — it:s special & elemental. charlotte is like this creepy little spider that has learned to camouflage itself perfectly as a fat queen ant, & has crept into a small hive & Done Something Cruel to the young queen & replaced it.
it:s exactly how i see charlotte: a bizarre arachnid-like shepherd that has decided to make birthing insects into a hobby. remco is the latest of the sickly new-born insects, & the strongest yet. you can even see the affects of the insect-filtration1 as a result of the Controversy: a bunch of hollow-hearted idiot milady holders filtering their enheart2 desire to Make Fucking Money through the insect telling them “it:s actually for network spirituality,” & it:s all sincere to them. they:ve been subsumed. they have no idea where their heart is, or where their thoughts come from. unbeknownst to them a fat fucking wasp larvae crept into their heart, ate it, and replaced it with this buzzling-little grub cooing “network spirituality, network spirituality” in the rhythm of a heartbeat: doki-doki. they have NEVER felt network spirituality, they have no idea what network spirituality is but the words & vibes are programmed into them like mechanical-automatical. the insects subtle social hypnosis3 automates-filters-nerve-taps their hearts+minds into lashing out against the mother of their heart: charlotte. charlotte is a poison to network spirituality — charlotte is the stain of network spirituality — network spirituality can be saved if only this stain be removed from this pure foundation (wrong; they:ve filtered their enheart completely and have let an insect cover-up their pain with wasp-grub cooing).
spirituality is NOT moral. spirituality has NOTHING to do with morals. you can:t prescribe the values of your base lame heart to the guiding divine magnetism you are trying to connect with. think of how stupid this is: cancelling a spirituality. part of “networking spirituality” is networking (as-one) with the filth in the network. the greater-design of the network-god does not discriminate against the user-connecting. the network-god is to be connected to. & yet: the shitty sickly little wasp-grub that has eaten up their heart, & filters their thoughts, has hypnotized them so completely that they can:t even separate “looking bad” + “losing money” from “i believe in connecting with everything. i believe in a whitepill vibe.”
it:s disgusting + upsetting to me.
i don:t like network spirituality.
i think miladies are cute, & i think sonora is a good artist — i don:t own a single milady & hit Like on the (milady) tweets because i just think they are cute/funny ← it:s what is pretty about charlotte: charlotte is passionate about insect-rearing and the results are way-more sincere than the dumbasses who try to birth some amalgamate stillborn insect based off some poisoned-hypnosis they have in their heads.
my anger @ the subtle social hypnosis left in the hearts of people following charlottes death has radicalized me, too.
what i mean: it:s upsetting seeing a bunch of people still talking through the language of “remco insect” when the soul (charlotte) is fucking dead. it:s like forcing a bunch of dead nerve endings to fire and think — i wish they would disconnect from the rotting corpse they have inside of themselves, and cease letting it filter their heart & enheart.
^ it actually made me want to make some odd power-play to try to incite people to disconnect from this dead spirituality they:ve left inside of themselves (i don:t want to anymore because i:m really depressed over losing friends over this; it:s funny: no one cares about my involvement in this but my friends definitely think i am a dumbass).
some poster said it really well: “aura” is the separation of the holy ghost from milady, (& continuing that thought) and the girl milady is just the physical shell left behind.
a bunch of people left behind worshipping this empty husk, acting as dead-tap nerves confused about their own thoughts.
they should disconnect; or: do whatever angelicism is doing. i don:t understand angelicism but i feel angelicism. angelicism is pretty/scary to me too, because they:re basically the direct-elemental-opposite of how i perceive charlotte @ any given time.
sort-of-like: an insect mass that has bound together to operate as one small pilgrim spider in search of their silk to make their web.
in conclusion: i:m really depressed; i don:t really care about the allegations because every time a mega-thread comes out there:s another mega-thread rebutting it, & really it has nothing to do with my feelings for charlotte. i wish i didn:t lose my friends. i:m afraid to talk to people (because of contamination, and because i keep hurting others). i have basically no more people in my life. i:m sad charlotte is gone.
nya
insect-filtration = subtle thought control that happens when a person has given-themselves to an environmental “group,” and has allowed it to do their thinking for them, specifically: all of their thoughts and feelings pass through a value-check with the insect: “my heart tells me i should love this person → does the insect agree? → the insect would be upset with me → i:ll suppress the feeling”
enheart = enturbulated heart. the heart that expresses all of your disrupted emotions and feelings, like expressing fears and hates.
subtle social hypnosis = basically another word for insect-filtration, but broader; when insect masses clump together they overlap (since their bodies are light/sound based, they are essentially formless) and have a greater influence; the greater influence allows thoughts to slowly shift towards the value of the insect-mass — this can happen with nerve-masses, too. example: exposing your en/heart to someone deeply connected to insect will begin to slowly filter your own en/heart through their insect. you input your feelings to them, they output the insects response. you input their insect-tainted response, and it goes into your heart. your heart now has the taint, and it stays there.
didn't see this till now. i unsubbed from all substacks for a while so just getting back. i agree.
I'm really sorry for your loss. Hoping you can find some peace ;; 💜